Before mobiles

Do you ever go out all day and have nothing to talk about at the end because you spent most of it on your phone?

I got home last night and felt like I couldn’t remember anything that happened throughout my day worth talking about. Isn’t that maddeningly boring?

Even the things I see some kind of news or interesting thing on my phone, I know the people I want to tell about it probably seen it at the same time I did.

People who know me well would roll their eyes at me of all people saying this because I love my phone. I got a phone for Christmas when I was like seven (child of divorce) and I just like it ok.

I will perpetually be shocked that I can message my best friend from my house. That’s still magical to me. Is everyone over it?

I’m constantly being guilt tripped or shamed for not being hell-bent on living my life as though the internet hasn’t been invented yet. Like old times.

The last ‘old times’ I had without a phone I was climbing trees and making flower potions in the woods and getting spanked for doing so.

Spanking has so many sexy connotations to it but I mean the proper skelping kind. The kind that was hotly debated in the early noughties and you’d threaten your Mum with Childline phonecalls about.

Anyway sometimes I watch Friends and I think woww how amazing it would be to meet up with your friends after having no communication whatsoever since the last time you saw them.

How did people manage?! I’d need to write a list of things that had happened.

But oh wait, no. You would just call them on the landline. God, the landline. Who even has a fucking landline anymore. And imagine them at their peak. Did people moan about them too and say it was ruining the quality of life worldwide? 

Were partners upset about their other half standing in the kitchen or perched on the arm of a couch, talking for eternity, confined by that curly phone line? The same ones we all bobble our hair with now?

Imagine the fear of going home and checking if that message was waiting on the answering machine for you or not. The one from the cute boy or the job interview or whatever. I’d feel absolutely ill.

Recently though I am starting to get tired of my phone. Maybe there will be a rebellion. We’ll all burn our phones in a big pile and go back to knocking on each others doors and having no idea if anybody’s home. Who knows.

Are mobiles really that bad?

Should people have the right to text you from the toilet if they want to?  

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